What about “Common Law Marriage?”
Hasn’t existed in California since 1930.

Do I have to continue as sole bread winner for the family?
Generally not. In separation and divorce, both spouses have an equal obligation under law to support themselves      and their children.

Can she keep me from seeing the kids?
Absolutely not! (Unless you pose a legitimate danger).

Can she “Take me for everything I’ve got?”
Not in California. This is both a community property and a “no-fault” State.

Will I have to pay all her lawyer’s fees?
Not if we can help it.  Courts like to tap joint sources of funds for fees because settlement is best promoted and   litigation discouraged when both sides have a financial “investment” in the case.  The key is identifying such sources. Also, the courts look at you and your spouse’s comparative financial positions after payment of alimony.